An ode to my Aunt Sandy

Whenever I go out in public, people always start smiling at me.  At first I thought that maybe the US was a lot friendlier than I remembered, but then I realized that it’s because I’m usually out and about with my 8-month pregnant sister who is the cutest little mom-to-be you’ve ever seen.  If you haven’t tried walking around with a cute pregnant lady, I highly recommend it as the world will seem much friendlier.  

I am super thankful to have this time with my sister during her pregnancy and to be able to visit with all of my Arkansas family.  I’m usually here 1-2 times a year, for no more than a week, and it’s always a rush to try and see everyone.  Thus, having 45 days of mostly recovery time has provided a relaxing space to get quality time with everyone. 

With my Aunt Sandy who kindly drove me to a local park so I could walk longer. 

World's cutest pregnant lady, at 8+ months no less! 

Spending a month in AR means getting to see a great Dale Chihuly exhibit at the local art museum.

Morning walk view while staying with my Aunt Leslie.  

While out on a morning walk this week, I started thinking about gratitude.  I’ve stayed at four different houses over the last seven days, and everyone keeps telling me I can come back whenever, even if I end up needing to stay indefinitely.  Maybe I’ve never been in this kind of need before, or maybe my experience as a volunteer has made me more open to accepting and appreciating help, but I see my family in a new light these days.  Everyone is exuding warmth, generosity, patience and love in a way that warms your heart and makes you wonder if the universe tweaked your back just so you could feel extra loved and grateful. 

While everyone has been super kind and giving, my Aunt Sandy is the crème de la crème and deserves an extra special shout out.  When I was a little girl, I spent the school year in Arkansas with my mom and my summers in California with my dad.  On the way to California, I spent one week with his sister - my Aunt Sandy - and her family on the east side of Arkansas.  It was a magical time of year when I ate name brand cereal and Rice Crispy Treats, went swimming in their community pool, played with my cousins and enjoyed outings to exciting places, like Libertyland.

My aunt at the beginning of her nursing career.

 Me, my dad and my Aunt Sandy way, way, way back in the day. 

Aunt Sandy with my niece Lilly last month. 

As an adult, my aunt always kept in touch with me by phone and I tried to make the long drive to see her for a night during my annual vacation to Arkansas.  These days my aunt lives with her daughter's family less than 30 minutes from the rest of my family.  She's a retired nurse but still gets up around 6 AM to take the kids to school, goes grocery shopping, cleans house (resting in between chores to watch her beloved TV programs and ice her back), does laundry non-stop all day long, picks the kids up from school, makes dinner, cleans the dishes, helps the kids with schoolwork, makes sure the kids get baths, and then takes a shower and goes to bed, usually all before 8 PM.  She’s in her early 60s and has her own aches and pains, so simply watching her orchestrate this whirlwind of a day is impressive. 

I’ve spent the majority of my time here in Arkansas at my Aunt Sandy’s house so let me tell you about some of the extraordinary things she has done for me during my visit.  Because girrrrrrrrrrrl, she is one special lady.

• She gave me her bedroom and her bed – the only one on the ground floor – and has been alternating her nights sleeping with each grandkid.  Imagine giving up your bed to me for almost 5 weeks and having to sleep with a 7- or 10-year-old.  The woman is a saint.
• She has done my laundry during my entire visit.
• She has taken me to every doctor's appointment and communicated with all of my family about my state of health, including providing updates during my surgery.
• She has hugged me and helped me stay positive when I’ve been in a lot of pain or just freaking out about what may or may not happen with my service, life, etc.  
• She helped me get into/out of the shower and get dressed before and immediately after surgery.
• She gave me a phone with a US number to use during my time here. 
• She made sure that I got all the best, soft bath towels and still helps dry and check my incision area daily.  
• She's gone on daily walks with me and invited me to watch her favorite TV programs with her.
• She asked me what food I liked, and then bought it all to have in the house for my eating pleasure. String cheese, everything bagels, real turkey meat, Sunchips and baby carrots anyone?  
• Before my surgery, she made me breakfast, lunch and dinner and brought it to me every single day, and constantly refilled my water cup.  She still cooks dinner for me every day.
• She bought me a onesie to give to my sister (for her baby) that says "My Aunt is Single and Fun." 
• She talks with me about Game of Thrones and says lots of great things throughout the day like “Girrrrrrl” and “yo(ur) cousin” and always makes me laugh.
• She lets anyone come over to visit me at her house, at any time, day or night.   
• She talks about how much she loves my siblings and how great they are, and she let my brother and his family go swimming in her pool before the cold weather hit.
• She gives me a hug and says I love you every night before bed.

There’s so much more I could say about my awesome Aunt Sandy, but I think you get the picture.  There’s so much more I could say about all of my family here who have opened their homes and refrigerators to me and made sure there was always a small pillow in the car for my traveling comfort.  I spent three nights at my Aunt Leslie’s this week and it was the first time I had spent the night at her house since elementary school.  We talked and laughed and watched Barefoot in the Park (which was hilarious), and I got to know two of her daughters and her grandkids so much better than I ever had before.

Outdoor art, which my Aunt Sandy needs to see when she finally has a day off from all of us.

It’s awesome to spend time in the US and to be with your family, but it’s really hard to be on medical evacuation and existing in a state of limbo.  I’ve had a few days where the stress has started to creep in but then my family comes through for me.  My sister Katie takes me out for coffee and lets me feel her baby kick.  My sister Zoe invites me to stay the night and shares her big ol’ comfy bed and a bag of funyuns with me.  My cousin’s 3-year old spends an hour talking with me about how we can get drones from Toys-R-Us and use them to create a trail of marshmallows to find each other at Christmas.  My Aunt Leslie makes me cheese-filled ravioli and joins me on my daily walks through her neighborhood that is bursting with fall colors.  Both of my brothers call me just to check in and see how I’m doing post-surgery and to see if I need anything/when I can come stay at their house.  And Aunt Sandy is there for all of it, providing my home base, all the Honey Nut cheerios my heart desires and stories of all the hereditary ailments that could potentially come my way.  Ok, I'm not loving that last part, but I sure love her!

Turning 40 in the Peace Corps

I have no recollection of what I did on my 20th birthday, but I was in college so it likely involved something super fun and super cheap.  For my 30th birthday, I went to New Zealand, which was awesome.  It was the number one country on my travel wish list at the time, and my friend Rachel helped me live it up with a hike in the land of Lord of the Rings, a soak in hot springs, massages and a good bottle of wine.  It’s hard to top that!

Turning 40 back in the US.

So young... my 30th bday in New Zealand, which involved zorbing inside that big ball. I'd show you a picture at 20 but I'm pretty sure digital photos weren't yet a thing.

Rachel sadly couldn’t join me for my 40th birthday, because she recently had a baby, and none of my other friends from the US could join me either because they all have families, full-time jobs, mortgages, or are currently pregnant.  I however, have none of those awesome things limitations so I booked a trip to visit the Yucatan peninsula with two of my BFFs in Peace Corps!  Two weeks before my birthday, my back went out and I went home for surgery instead.  Ni modo. 

Although I was envious when I saw Facebook pictures from my friends in Tulum, I was excited to spend only my second birthday with my family in AR since 1995.  My aunt got the party started with a 6:30 AM rendition of the birthday song, followed by a surprise delivery of an edible arrangement and balloon from my long-time friend Amy, a coffee delivery from my sister, a sushi dinner with both of my sisters and my brother-in-law, homemade rice crispy treats from my aunt, and a package from my great friend Nancy with a book, chocolates, a new top, a coloring book and a hilarious feather boa!  The following Sunday, I had an official birthday party at a local park where three of my nieces played and played while calling out “Aunt Autumn come watch me go down the slide.  Aunt Autumn watch me cross the bridge.  Aunt Autumn watch me climb the ladder.  Aunt Autumn, wanna see how fast I can run?”  Aunt Autumn felt super popular and beloved.

Picture in Tulum from my friends.  One day I'll make it there.

My niece hand-decorated wrapping paper and a bday card that said "Did you know it's your birthday? Yes, I know it's my birthday" and had a glittery pencil hot glued on top :)

All the kids had fun at my bday party. 

And the adults had a lot of fun too.

So far 40 has been all about recovering from back surgery and trying to adjust to being back in the US, which is no easy thing.  In addition to feeling like I'm losing all of my hard fought proficiency in Spanish, I also struggle for words in English and frequently have what can best be described as "dense" moments.  What qualifies as a dense moment?

• Example 1: for several days after my surgery I kept thinking I had to be really careful on my left side and was laying more on my right side.  Then one day it occurred to me that my suture was actually in the middle of my back.  You know – along my spine – so left or right made no difference. 
• Example 2: for a week and half after surgery I put my pants on right leg first.  Then one day I tried my left leg first (i.e. the leg with more pain and less strength and flexibility).  It’s not just a little easier to start with the left leg, it’s mind-blowingly easier.  I wish I could blame the pain meds for these dense moments but I've only taken 3 pain pills since I had surgery 2.5 weeks ago, so maybe I can blame 40? 

Taking a therapeutic walk and enjoying the fall weather. 

Finding great art while out for my daily walk.

It definitely feels like fall here.

I think birthdays always provide an opportunity for reflection and this year I’ve been thinking about how Peace Corps has changed my perspective.  Mexico has taught me how to be kind to strangers, how to practice patience during times of uncertainty, and how to go with the flow and have faith that things will all work out (even at the last minute when it seems impossible and exasperation starts to creep in).  It’s also reinforced the value of family and loved ones, who I hug and enjoy every day here.

I’ll find out on November 3rd if I am cleared to return to Mexico or if I have to come up with a new life plan on short notice.  I know that things will work out however they are supposed to, and I try to stay focused on each new physical improvement that comes my way.  I have faith that one day I will be able to reach my left foot again and do exciting things like put on my own socks and pick up things that I drop on the floor.  I'm getting really good at picking things up with my toes but you can't pick up an ice cube with your toes.  I dare you to try.