Lactose-free love

After living with 2 different host families for 3 months each, I can tell you that this magical thing happens during the third month. The first 2 months you get along and can say plenty of nice things about them but that third month you transition to real family with real love.  After the magic of my first host family in Querétaro, I did not think it would be possible to find that again, but here we are, 3 weeks into my third month at site with host family number 2, and it’s happened.  We’ve started laughing together and making jokes on a regular basis, their youngest granddaughter and I are getting really good at drawing together, and things just feel more relaxed.

 

Vendor in the square. 

Local art. 

Spot of my purchase for a new decorative pot. 

Now I could joke that I’m just such a great house guest that families can’t help but to fall in love with me (and I’m not saying that’s not true…), but I gotta tell you, I find myself continually amazed at the generosity of the people here.   This week alone my host family gave me two old plastic chairs for my new patio, an old blender that I got fixed for only 100 pesos (vs. 1,000 pesos for a new one), and some kitchen supplies so I wouldn’t have to buy my own.   They also helped me try to navigate the process for getting internet, took me to the local fruit market to show me the ropes for choosing the best papaya, went shopping with me at the store in town that has everything (aptly named “Todo y Todo”) and answered all my questions about how to deal with cockroaches, spiders, the trash and more.  And, perhaps most importantly, they gave me access to a TV to watch my beloved Olympics. 

Shopping for onions and everything else. 

I am going to miss living with my host family but I can thankfully see their front door from my new front door so I’m working out a flag system to alert them when I need things, like more milk.  Last week my host mom made pancakes for dinner and suggested I have a glass of milk.  I thought it smelled a little funny and she said “Oh no, that’s just because it’s lactose free because you only drink lactose-free milk.” I was like “uh, what now? This is lactose-free?”  So… turns out my first day here when we went grocery shopping I grabbed the milk with a green label (because I like the color green) and it was lactose-free so that’s what I’ve been drinking for 3 months.  Alicia did ask me a few times if I wanted cow milk and I thought she was referring to the giant open pot of milk in the fridge that was purchased from a guy selling from an even bigger pot in the back of his truck.  He drives up, you bring out your big pot, and he ladles the milk into your pot.  I’m a little ladle shy so I thought, no thank you, I’ll stick with this familiar milk from home!  Well, jokes on me with that one since I never drank lactose-free milk before coming to Mexico. Lesson learned: don’t choose your milk based on the color of the label (and learn more Spanish).

    La Cruz de Romero.

 One of many sets of stairs to reach the top. 

View from the top. 

Steep stairs down. 

This week I got my first hair cut in Mexico and it was little surreal doing such a normal thing from home in a very different setting.  It was also a little surreal getting my hair cut for under $7, with tip, and not being worried that a teenager was going to cut my ear or leave me looking wicked awkward.  I had to google how to say “do you remember Meg Ryan’s hair at the height of her career? That’s what I want – but you know, appropriate for my face shape and this climate” in Spanish, and that’s a lot to remember.   Thankfully the stylist spoke some English and I was very happy with the result. 

I also checked a number of things off my local “must see” list this weekend thanks to the kindness of Cindy’s friends from Nayarit.  They stopped by Costco on their way to town and brought me a giant bottle of olive oil, a big box of sugar-free crackers and a fancy new bathmat.   

View from the mirrador of our lush green landscape. 

Volunteers with a view. 

That's my town, surrounded by mountains! 

We hit up a number of great tourist vistas, including the mirrador just above town where you can get the best view of my pueblo, which is a virtual emerald wonderland thanks to all the recent rain.  We also saw the famous Virgin of the Rosario de Talpa de Allende.  Millions of people walk la Ruta del Peregrino each year during Semana Santa to see the Virgin, which is a small figurine housed in the local church.  To complete our tour of religious sites, we also climbed up to the top of La Cruz de Romero and trekked up the hill to see Cristo Rey.  I have visited this town probably 10 times and I never noticed the giant statue of Jesus on the hill before this weekend.  Combine this with my selection of lactose-free milk and I think it’s clear that I really need to start being more observant.  However, I did totally notice the donkey tied up to a phone pole and the horse walking down the sidewalk by itself this weekend, so I’m catching the really important things.  

  Beautiful church, home to the Virgin of the Rosario. 

  Local plaza. 

  Giant statue of Jesus. 

  Art at Cristo Rey. 

Art at the church. 

Life without frozen pizza

This morning I woke up to the sound of hands slapping tortillas and the song “If you’re going to San Francisco…” playing in the kitchen.  That was followed by a woman singing a Spanish-language version of the song “Runaround Sue,” which I’d like to think was some kind of progressive gesture.  My host mom Alicia was completing her bi-weekly task of making fresh corn tortillas for the family, and I love the rhythmic nature and sounds of this process.  I learned this morning that flour tortillas will burn in a pan without Teflon but corn tortillas will not. That knowledge sadly came at the expense of a young quesadilla’s life.

This week's adventure, finding fresh coffee beans, straight off the tree.

Lovley view looking towards the ocean. 

Beautiful flowers.

 

 Lush green views in the mountains.

Alicia and I started talking about shoes as she just purchased some new ones and I’ve had a strong desire to own more shoes since arriving in Mexico.  Here’s what I learned during our conversation: I need much fancier shoes, with heels.  I’m guessing my Birkenstocks, flip flops, Tevas and Toms have not been winners here but I’m a grungy Peace Corps volunteer now, so that’s what I’ve got.  Word in my house is that it’s kind of acceptable to wear flats to fiestas and weddings in the summer, but they need to be fancy and ideally have a slight heel. The rest of the year, you need to wear high heels to the party. 

This presents three problems for me: 1) I don’t own any high heels, 2) I don’t like to wear high heels and 3) I have one pair of black flats but I’m not sure they’d qualify as nice enough, or high enough, for any special event as they are starting to show some real wear and tear.  I recently saw a party for a quinceañera and it was amazing.  The young woman was beautiful in a colorful, poofy, prom-type dress, and was accompanied by what looked to be the entire pueblo dressed to the nines.  I wish I had looked more closely at all the women’s shoes to see what I’m aiming for.  Alicia indicated that there was a probability of gossip if your shoes are bad at a fiesta sooooo…. let’s just hope I don’t get invited to any fancy parties anytime soon. 

I spend a lot of time with cows these days; no high heels required.  

Big pile of dry corn cobs. 

There’s no chance I’ll be having any fancy parties at my new house, but I am happy to announce that I finally found a permanent home!  For the first time in 5+ months, I will have to shop and cook for myself, which suddenly feels a little intimidating.  I was at the local grocery store the other day and realized that there are zero aisles with frozen or pre-prepared food to purchase.  I repeat: there is NO FROZEN PIZZA in my town!  This is the kind of thing you only realize after living in a place for almost 3 months when you actually need to purchase your own food.  (PS. I really want frozen pizza now.)

Living room - pretty sure I will never be cold enough to need that fireplace. 

View of my lovely back patio. 

Kitchen, sans a refrigerator.  

Bedroom - with great tiles and a bathroom! 

It has been one of the greatest gifts of my life to have home cooked meals from my host moms here and I’m eager to try and recreate some piece of their magic in the kitchen.  However, the first thing I want to cook for myself is bacon.  Hot, crispy bacon, all by itself.  That will be followed by guacamole with chips.  I will eventually make real food, but I only have a stove top here (no oven or microwave), and I may have gotten a little lazy living in the lap of (food) luxury since March. 

Some of that delicious food other people have made for me.

 The coolest building in town: Cafe Don Balbino (photo by Cindy). 

Most artistic coffee-processing site ever (photo by Cindy). 

This weekend I took a 14-hour trek into the mountains to visit a small pueblo in the mountains.  This trip had all those golden nuggets that I’m starting to take for granted here:

• We left an hour late, and stopped for an hour to look at a super cool building for coffee processing (and taste delicious coffee).
• We saw two newborn calves, one of which could barely walk (and was super cute).
• We gave a lift to a man with two live chickens in a bag. 
• We got stuck on a muddy road in our 4x4 truck.
• We spent a fair amount of time looking for animal bones on a hillside: first for a dead cow, then a jaguar, then a horse (thankfully we found that one).
• We got about half a mile from our destination when we reached a random short stretch of wet concrete on a dirt road.  We walked the rest of the way and it’s now a great mystery why there was one small piece of concrete road nowhere near any other stretch of paved road.  
• We watched our coworker deliver some great workshops on organic practices and natural fertilizers while smoke billowed, mosquitoes bit and sweat dripped down my face like a river.
• We ate a delicious lunch in a woman’s house with fresh corn tortillas, jamaica water, nopales and more.  She had the world’s largest roll of toilet paper that was the size of a small ferris wheel. This thing measured like 5 ft x 3 ft. 

Just a couple of chickens in a bag. 

 Searching for animal bones on a steep mountain (and hoping not to see snakes). 

 New calf! 

 Workshop to turn those bones into fertilizer. 

 Super nice people riding a donkey. 

A random stretch of concrete too wet to drive on. 

I know, you're jealous. Giant toilet paper rolls, beautiful mountains, opportunities to walk on country roads.... It's hard to capture all the great things that happen here on a regular basis or to explain how hard I laughed when we hit that wet concrete.  I'm pretty sure I can survive without frozen pizza for awhile, but heads up to my family, I'm probably gonna need that in December :) 

Turn down for what

This weekend I headed out into the hills for a community tourism hike. The theme was “know the magic of nature in your community” and when we found out at 7:00 AM that the bus that was supposed to take us to the trailhead was broken, the people improvised and we headed out in several cars instead.

Morning view on the trail. 

View of Navidad from the trail.

Countryside views.

Just because I don't want to ride a horse doesn't mean I don't like them.

We hiked about 4 miles, with a stop for cookies and tea, followed by a tasty meal of chilaquiles with eggs and frijoles.  The trail was caked with thick red mud from the recent rains, but it was cool with shade from large and lovely trees, and we saw both waterfalls and pueblos in the valley below. I saw my first snake and scorpion in Mexico – both very small and very poisonous – and have decided so long as I only ever see them from afar, out in the wild (vs. in my house), I’m good. 

Scorpion!

Everyone taking pictures of the itsy, bitsy snake.

On the trail with some of our English class students.

Two waterfalls.

At times we were also joined by cows on the trail.

Lovely view of the lush greenery near Navidad.

Sunday I went to lunch with Cindy, Joe – an archaeologist from the US who now lives here, and Joe's wife. They took us to a nice restaurant overlooking the lush green landscape and we ate two plates of guacamole (aka, mi amor).  Before I left the US, I was scouring blogs and articles for advice on what I needed to bring and what types of things I could expect to encounter as a Peace Corps volunteer.  I thought I would be bathing in guacamole but it turns out avocados are really expensive these days. Thus, I thought I would share a few thoughts on both what I wish I had brought/been prepared for and what life has been like living in a different language these first 5 months.     

View at lunch on Sunday.

Hello, I'm a cute cow.

Food & Water: Bring your reusable water bottle with you and find ways to assuage your guilt at having to consume bottled water because you will drink it. Every morning I fill up my reusable bottle from a giant 5-gallon bottle of water in the house because no one drinks from the tap.  Eat all the food – it’s delicious! And bring all that medicine to deal with diarrhea, vomiting and constipation because you are going to have problems. You’re going to have problems you’ve never had before in your life, but they’ll make for good stories in the future when others can laugh at your expense. When my group arrived in Mexico we read aloud pieces of advice from past volunteers and a disturbing number of them related to diarrhea, including the official winner for the funniest piece of advice ever: “never trust a fart.”  That one’s only funny until it’s not.

Milking the cow for fresh pajaretes.

Seriously fresh milk.

Early morning view from the farm.

Clothes: It’s tough to pack the right mix of clothes for two years for both the Peace Corps office and your real life. You have to dress business casual during the first 3 months of training but those clothes are really too fancy for life at my permanent site.  That said, my yoga pants are really too casual, even on the weekend. “Casual” attire here is way more formal than in the US, and from what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of ironing going on. Here’s what I wish I would have brought: a dress, those tall boots I thought for sure I would never need in Mexico, more pants (in lightweight fabrics and light colors), and a really light rain jacket that could keep me from sweating to death while also keeping me dry during a serious downpour. Does that exist?

View of a quinceañera from the church tower - lots of fancy clothes here!

Line drying clothes - no dryers needed.

All those things I forgot (or didn’t know I’d need): It is difficult to identify and pack everything you think you might need for 2 years in a new climate and culture – doing undefined work in an undefined setting – into only 2 bags that weight less than 60 pounds each. If I knew then what I know now, I would have left my carry-on rolling suitcase at home and invested in a larger bag I could carry with the following:

• Sandals that can get wet (like “walking across 6-inch deep flooded streets” wet)
• Speakers for my computer
• A rechargeable phone case for those long bus trips
• A smart power strip/surge protector
• A money belt and luggage locks (don’t ask me why I don’t have these super basic things)
• Supplies of my favorite brand of deodorant, shampoo/conditioner and face soap
• More quick dry underwear
• Reusable snack bags and produce bags
• My beloved red travel coffee mug
• An extra pair of sunglasses
• More reusable shopping bags
• A bike helmet
• Pens and greeting cards (the great mystery of why there are no greeting cards in Mexico continues)

Communications: I’ve been lucky to have internet available at both of my host family homes and can make Google and Skype calls to my family and friends back in the US for free. Most people here use “What’s App” for both calls and texts, so that’s another free option should you wish to chat! Mail takes an amazingly long time to arrive considering how close we are to the US.  I’m only 1 for 3 receiving post cards from friends and family back home, but regular cards have not had problems.  On average, mail coming to me from the US, and going to the US from Mexico, takes 7-9 weeks. 

Scenes from the countryside.

Trail marker.

Scenes from the field.

Personal Space & Independence: As a woman in her 30s who has lived alone for a really long time, it was an adjustment to essentially live with parents again.  Both of my host families were very kind and loving people and I would say it was 95% awesome and 5% challenging, which is a pretty good ratio after 5 months of shared quarters.  The challenges were primarily related to food and my struggle to say “I know what’s best for me” while also acknowledging that maybe my host families did know better on some things.  I’m not sure I’ve ever eaten enough to make others happy here, and everyone I work with knows that, because my host family told them I wasn’t eating enough my first week at site.  When my family left on vacation for 4 days, they were honestly concerned that I wasn’t going to eat the entire time they were gone (and my coworkers knew that too). Their daughter came to watch me eat the first night so she could truthfully verify that I did in fact eat during their absence. As for personal space, when I was really sick and had to go to the doctor, my host dad insisted on coming into the exam room with me. Awwwwkward…. I can’t say everything I want to say in Spanish, but you can bet I made it clear that for part 2 of the visit it would be just me and el doctor.

I hereby decree.....something. I'll tell you when my Spanish is better. 

And last but not least, there's this thing we'll call "how to be you in a different language": Spanish speakers who aren’t fluent in English don’t really know me yet.  They only know this small piece of my personality that can be expressed through limited language, facial expressions and body language.  And they’re getting to know me at a somewhat stressful time, so I’m not exactly my normal self.  For example, I can't explain my love of the song "Turn down for what" and why I would like to have more opportunities to participate in choreographed hip hop dances.  

It is a strange (and frustrating) feeling not always being able to fully express myself or understand everything that’s going on around me.  I spend more time listening to others and thinking about what I want to say, which means I often look much more serious than I am.  Think about that the next time you are talking to someone with English as a second language.  Go easy on them as they try to say what they mean and understand what you’re saying.  And if it looks like they’re struggling or getting frustrated, do whatever you can to make them laugh (they need it)!  Or just start singing "Turn down for what" - but you've gotta mimic the awesome music for the full effect.