An ode to my Aunt Sandy

Whenever I go out in public, people always start smiling at me.  At first I thought that maybe the US was a lot friendlier than I remembered, but then I realized that it’s because I’m usually out and about with my 8-month pregnant sister who is the cutest little mom-to-be you’ve ever seen.  If you haven’t tried walking around with a cute pregnant lady, I highly recommend it as the world will seem much friendlier.  

I am super thankful to have this time with my sister during her pregnancy and to be able to visit with all of my Arkansas family.  I’m usually here 1-2 times a year, for no more than a week, and it’s always a rush to try and see everyone.  Thus, having 45 days of mostly recovery time has provided a relaxing space to get quality time with everyone. 

With my Aunt Sandy who kindly drove me to a local park so I could walk longer. 

World's cutest pregnant lady, at 8+ months no less! 

Spending a month in AR means getting to see a great Dale Chihuly exhibit at the local art museum.

Morning walk view while staying with my Aunt Leslie.  

While out on a morning walk this week, I started thinking about gratitude.  I’ve stayed at four different houses over the last seven days, and everyone keeps telling me I can come back whenever, even if I end up needing to stay indefinitely.  Maybe I’ve never been in this kind of need before, or maybe my experience as a volunteer has made me more open to accepting and appreciating help, but I see my family in a new light these days.  Everyone is exuding warmth, generosity, patience and love in a way that warms your heart and makes you wonder if the universe tweaked your back just so you could feel extra loved and grateful. 

While everyone has been super kind and giving, my Aunt Sandy is the crème de la crème and deserves an extra special shout out.  When I was a little girl, I spent the school year in Arkansas with my mom and my summers in California with my dad.  On the way to California, I spent one week with his sister - my Aunt Sandy - and her family on the east side of Arkansas.  It was a magical time of year when I ate name brand cereal and Rice Crispy Treats, went swimming in their community pool, played with my cousins and enjoyed outings to exciting places, like Libertyland.

My aunt at the beginning of her nursing career.

 Me, my dad and my Aunt Sandy way, way, way back in the day. 

Aunt Sandy with my niece Lilly last month. 

As an adult, my aunt always kept in touch with me by phone and I tried to make the long drive to see her for a night during my annual vacation to Arkansas.  These days my aunt lives with her daughter's family less than 30 minutes from the rest of my family.  She's a retired nurse but still gets up around 6 AM to take the kids to school, goes grocery shopping, cleans house (resting in between chores to watch her beloved TV programs and ice her back), does laundry non-stop all day long, picks the kids up from school, makes dinner, cleans the dishes, helps the kids with schoolwork, makes sure the kids get baths, and then takes a shower and goes to bed, usually all before 8 PM.  She’s in her early 60s and has her own aches and pains, so simply watching her orchestrate this whirlwind of a day is impressive. 

I’ve spent the majority of my time here in Arkansas at my Aunt Sandy’s house so let me tell you about some of the extraordinary things she has done for me during my visit.  Because girrrrrrrrrrrl, she is one special lady.

• She gave me her bedroom and her bed – the only one on the ground floor – and has been alternating her nights sleeping with each grandkid.  Imagine giving up your bed to me for almost 5 weeks and having to sleep with a 7- or 10-year-old.  The woman is a saint.
• She has done my laundry during my entire visit.
• She has taken me to every doctor's appointment and communicated with all of my family about my state of health, including providing updates during my surgery.
• She has hugged me and helped me stay positive when I’ve been in a lot of pain or just freaking out about what may or may not happen with my service, life, etc.  
• She helped me get into/out of the shower and get dressed before and immediately after surgery.
• She gave me a phone with a US number to use during my time here. 
• She made sure that I got all the best, soft bath towels and still helps dry and check my incision area daily.  
• She's gone on daily walks with me and invited me to watch her favorite TV programs with her.
• She asked me what food I liked, and then bought it all to have in the house for my eating pleasure. String cheese, everything bagels, real turkey meat, Sunchips and baby carrots anyone?  
• Before my surgery, she made me breakfast, lunch and dinner and brought it to me every single day, and constantly refilled my water cup.  She still cooks dinner for me every day.
• She bought me a onesie to give to my sister (for her baby) that says "My Aunt is Single and Fun." 
• She talks with me about Game of Thrones and says lots of great things throughout the day like “Girrrrrrl” and “yo(ur) cousin” and always makes me laugh.
• She lets anyone come over to visit me at her house, at any time, day or night.   
• She talks about how much she loves my siblings and how great they are, and she let my brother and his family go swimming in her pool before the cold weather hit.
• She gives me a hug and says I love you every night before bed.

There’s so much more I could say about my awesome Aunt Sandy, but I think you get the picture.  There’s so much more I could say about all of my family here who have opened their homes and refrigerators to me and made sure there was always a small pillow in the car for my traveling comfort.  I spent three nights at my Aunt Leslie’s this week and it was the first time I had spent the night at her house since elementary school.  We talked and laughed and watched Barefoot in the Park (which was hilarious), and I got to know two of her daughters and her grandkids so much better than I ever had before.

Outdoor art, which my Aunt Sandy needs to see when she finally has a day off from all of us.

It’s awesome to spend time in the US and to be with your family, but it’s really hard to be on medical evacuation and existing in a state of limbo.  I’ve had a few days where the stress has started to creep in but then my family comes through for me.  My sister Katie takes me out for coffee and lets me feel her baby kick.  My sister Zoe invites me to stay the night and shares her big ol’ comfy bed and a bag of funyuns with me.  My cousin’s 3-year old spends an hour talking with me about how we can get drones from Toys-R-Us and use them to create a trail of marshmallows to find each other at Christmas.  My Aunt Leslie makes me cheese-filled ravioli and joins me on my daily walks through her neighborhood that is bursting with fall colors.  Both of my brothers call me just to check in and see how I’m doing post-surgery and to see if I need anything/when I can come stay at their house.  And Aunt Sandy is there for all of it, providing my home base, all the Honey Nut cheerios my heart desires and stories of all the hereditary ailments that could potentially come my way.  Ok, I'm not loving that last part, but I sure love her!

Turning 40 in the Peace Corps

I have no recollection of what I did on my 20th birthday, but I was in college so it likely involved something super fun and super cheap.  For my 30th birthday, I went to New Zealand, which was awesome.  It was the number one country on my travel wish list at the time, and my friend Rachel helped me live it up with a hike in the land of Lord of the Rings, a soak in hot springs, massages and a good bottle of wine.  It’s hard to top that!

Turning 40 back in the US.

So young... my 30th bday in New Zealand, which involved zorbing inside that big ball. I'd show you a picture at 20 but I'm pretty sure digital photos weren't yet a thing.

Rachel sadly couldn’t join me for my 40th birthday, because she recently had a baby, and none of my other friends from the US could join me either because they all have families, full-time jobs, mortgages, or are currently pregnant.  I however, have none of those awesome things limitations so I booked a trip to visit the Yucatan peninsula with two of my BFFs in Peace Corps!  Two weeks before my birthday, my back went out and I went home for surgery instead.  Ni modo. 

Although I was envious when I saw Facebook pictures from my friends in Tulum, I was excited to spend only my second birthday with my family in AR since 1995.  My aunt got the party started with a 6:30 AM rendition of the birthday song, followed by a surprise delivery of an edible arrangement and balloon from my long-time friend Amy, a coffee delivery from my sister, a sushi dinner with both of my sisters and my brother-in-law, homemade rice crispy treats from my aunt, and a package from my great friend Nancy with a book, chocolates, a new top, a coloring book and a hilarious feather boa!  The following Sunday, I had an official birthday party at a local park where three of my nieces played and played while calling out “Aunt Autumn come watch me go down the slide.  Aunt Autumn watch me cross the bridge.  Aunt Autumn watch me climb the ladder.  Aunt Autumn, wanna see how fast I can run?”  Aunt Autumn felt super popular and beloved.

Picture in Tulum from my friends.  One day I'll make it there.

My niece hand-decorated wrapping paper and a bday card that said "Did you know it's your birthday? Yes, I know it's my birthday" and had a glittery pencil hot glued on top :)

All the kids had fun at my bday party. 

And the adults had a lot of fun too.

So far 40 has been all about recovering from back surgery and trying to adjust to being back in the US, which is no easy thing.  In addition to feeling like I'm losing all of my hard fought proficiency in Spanish, I also struggle for words in English and frequently have what can best be described as "dense" moments.  What qualifies as a dense moment?

• Example 1: for several days after my surgery I kept thinking I had to be really careful on my left side and was laying more on my right side.  Then one day it occurred to me that my suture was actually in the middle of my back.  You know – along my spine – so left or right made no difference. 
• Example 2: for a week and half after surgery I put my pants on right leg first.  Then one day I tried my left leg first (i.e. the leg with more pain and less strength and flexibility).  It’s not just a little easier to start with the left leg, it’s mind-blowingly easier.  I wish I could blame the pain meds for these dense moments but I've only taken 3 pain pills since I had surgery 2.5 weeks ago, so maybe I can blame 40? 

Taking a therapeutic walk and enjoying the fall weather. 

Finding great art while out for my daily walk.

It definitely feels like fall here.

I think birthdays always provide an opportunity for reflection and this year I’ve been thinking about how Peace Corps has changed my perspective.  Mexico has taught me how to be kind to strangers, how to practice patience during times of uncertainty, and how to go with the flow and have faith that things will all work out (even at the last minute when it seems impossible and exasperation starts to creep in).  It’s also reinforced the value of family and loved ones, who I hug and enjoy every day here.

I’ll find out on November 3rd if I am cleared to return to Mexico or if I have to come up with a new life plan on short notice.  I know that things will work out however they are supposed to, and I try to stay focused on each new physical improvement that comes my way.  I have faith that one day I will be able to reach my left foot again and do exciting things like put on my own socks and pick up things that I drop on the floor.  I'm getting really good at picking things up with my toes but you can't pick up an ice cube with your toes.  I dare you to try.  

Losing your nose ring during back surgery

Almost three weeks to the day after my back went out, I finally had surgery.  My doctor said the MRI from Mexico showed exactly what was going on and that I was a textbook-perfect example of symptoms associated with an L4/5 herniated disc. 

My aunt and I woke up bright and early at 4:15 AM to make sure we were on time for my 5 AM check-in.  My first prep nurse Abbey was incredibly kind and sweet.  She assured me I would have multiple opportunities to pee before my scheduled 7:30 AM surgery and clearly explained everything that was going to happen that day.  When she handed me a set of wet wipes and a hospital gown to get cleaned up and changed, my Aunt Sandy jumped into action and helped clean my back and my legs.  When Abbey said it was time to move on to the second prep area, my aunt asked if she could have 30 seconds to say a prayer for me before I left her.  Abbey not only said yes, she asked if she could join us.  

Pre-surgery, holding my newest niece.

With one of my 5-year old nieces, pre-surgery.

Don't worry - there are no surgery pictures.  But this is what Arkansas looks like in early October.

In the second prep area, I met additional nurses who were also warm and friendly and introduced me to the chief anesthesiologist and his technician, my doctor - who had a great bedside manner - and his nurse for surgery.  I also met a really nice tattooed nurse who was summoned to remove my nose ring as no metal is permitted in surgery.  She said I could put it back in that night but I knew I wouldn't have the fortitude for that, so I'm a rebel no more.  After I was wheeled into the operating room, the anesthesiologist put some patches on my chest and back, put the mask on me and told me to take deep breaths of oxygen.  And then I woke up in recovery.

As soon as I realized where I was, I could feel the pain in my back from the incision.  Then I moved my left foot and leg and I could feel them!  For the first time in almost 3 weeks, I could feel my toes again!  After I was moved to the second stage recovery room, I had to go to the bathroom so the nurse told me to get up and walk with her to the bathroom and I did!  In order to leave recovery, you have to demonstrate that you can walk, use the bathroom and eat/drink, so the nurse brought me a can of Sprite, along with my Aunt Sandy and stepdad.  I successfully downed my Sprite and was given the clear to get dressed and head out.

As I tried to get out of bed for the second time, I had this horrific pain in my left thigh that I can only describe as an intense charlie horse that makes you yell in pain and that no movement can correct.  That excruciating pain continued every time I had to get up or down (including in and out of the car which was the most horrific part) which made going to the bathroom a super unpleasant experience for all of day one.  By day two, that pain had decreased to about 30% of its potency and migrated to my left calf.  On the fifth night after my surgery, I was able to get in and out of bed throughout the night without any pain, which was an awesome improvement.  I still have some pains in my leg when moving certain ways, but after a little over a week since surgery, the improvements are extraordinary.  The human body is definitely a marvel. 

With my pregnant sister Katie the night after my surgery. It's been such a gift getting to see her pregnant and feel her baby move. I would have missed all of her pregnancy without my surgery so that's a definite silver lining!  

My aunt said when the doctor came out he indicated that the herniation was even worse than he thought and that they removed shards from multiple areas.  I started walking outside on day two where I discovered that I can walk just fine, I just move a little slowly and my left toe starts falling asleep again when walking for more than a few minutes.  I'm walking 3 times a day for 15-20 minutes per walk and learning how to sit down without letting my back touch anything, how to sleep exclusively on my sides with my shirt always raised to help my suture breathe and how to be reliant on others without feeling guilty.  I’m happy to report that I can now make my own cereal, refill my own water glass and shower while standing, but I can’t bend over to do my own laundry or gently dry my suture area with a towel, so thank goodness for Aunt Sandy.  

Views on my post-surgery walks.

Views on my post-surgery walks.

My sister and I are moving at about the same pace on our walks.

I’m cautiously optimistic that I’m going to continue to see great improvements over the next few weeks and gain medical clearance at the end of the month to return to Mexico.  In the meantime, I’m learning how to live with a new calendar that includes nothing more than showering once and walking three times a day.  I know that may sound glorious but it's also challenging.  My life has become an ongoing lesson in patience and gratitude so thank you again to everyone who has brought me coffee, called to chat, stopped by to visit, sent a note/package, etc.  You guys are the best! 

Celebrating Independence Day in Mexico

We recently celebrated Independence Day and our local fiestas patronales in Mexico.  While church bells, fireworks, morning pilgrims and mass at 5:00 AM had started the week before, festivities in the town square kicked off of on Wednesday, September 13, the same day my Peace Corps BFF, Natalie, came to visit.  I took her straight from the bus station to my English class, where she got to meet some of my favorite people in town.  Anytime you can bring someone from the US to your English class, it’s great because students can hear a different accent and practice those pleasantries that are key to successful small talk.

Me and Natalie with some budding artists.

After class, we headed to the main plaza where people were congregating for the night’s festivities. We saw the Virgin Guadalupe, followed by local businesses carrying paper goods in a formal procession to the church.  Natalie also got to taste our local fair food delicacy, sliced hot dogs wrapped in corn tortillas, held together with a toothpick and then deep fried.  It sounds weird, but we ate them for dinner for 3 days in a row, covered in cream, ketchup, mustard and salsa.  At 20 pesos a pop, it’s hard to find a more affordable dinner.  We also found the elusive churro man who is only out and about during festivals and enjoyed his cinnamon sugar gift from the gods. 

The party also brought my first “castillo de fuego,” which is essentially a 3-story structure made of fireworks that are spinning and shooting sparks in every direction.  Definitely not an OSHA-approved activity and when the two crowns at the top shoot high into the sky, all the kids chase it to claim their fiery prize.  Since Natalie and I were speaking English during her visit, we met people who were visiting from all over the US who wanted to speak English and hear about our experiences as volunteers.     

The flaming castle from afar. 

The next day, Natalie helped me with a community water event for elementary school students.  Approximately 100 students passed through our table in 2 hours, molding clay to create ocean and river scenes.  It was a really fun morning and we ran into those kids around town throughout her visit.   

Water-themed artwork. 

That night we headed out to participate in our first ever callejoneada.  We purchased a necklace with a small ceramic mug for 50 pesos and then had unlimited beverages during a 2 hour walk through the town with hundreds of our closest friends and a great band.  Almost everyone from my office was there, so Natalie got a true taste of my life as a volunteer.  We finished the night siting in the plaza eating more tortilla hotdogs with fries and listening to three competing bands play a mere 50 feet away from each other. 

The band that led the callejoneada.

Night torches. 

On Friday, we were eating breakfast when my back went out so the weekend got off to a slow start.  I wanted Natalie to see some of the surrounding countryside so we took a taxi out to visit my friends Kathleen and Russ.  They are originally from the US but have lived in Mexico for decades and have a beautiful home with lush views of our green landscape.  Natalie and Kathleen hiked down to see the spillway from the local dam, which was raging after all the recent rains, while I read magazines and chatted with Russ from the comfort of a chair on the front porch.

Enjoying the green countryside. 

View from my friend's house. 

That night I hobbled to the main square with Natalie for the official day of fiestas patronales in my pueblo.  We dined on – you guessed it – hotdogs and tortillas, tacos and a beverage that came in a great big pottery mug.  The plaza was super packed with people and we got to see a fiery procession, hear mariachi music from my favorite band, Mariachi Navidad, and participate in the grita. The grita is a late-night celebration where everyone yells together to celebrate the town, Mexico, and people of importance.  Viva Mexico!  Vivia el presidente!  Viva walking without pain!  

Friday night had the best firework show, which was launched from the roof of the church and included another spinning castle of fire and sparks.  In the US, there’s a rhythm to a professional firework show and you can clearly define the finale.  In Mexico, there are fireworks going off every 30 seconds to 7 minutes, which means you sometimes have big gaps over a 40-minute period.  We watched what we thought was the finale and started to head home, only to hear a new barrage of celebratory explosions high above.  We  sat down on the sidewalk to watch another 20 minutes of fireworks exploding high in the sky every 3-7 minutes.

Sights from the Independence Day parade. 

Nightly procession.   

Lovely ladies in the parade. 

Local royalty. 

Saturday was Independence Day so we got up early and hobbled to the closest viewing spot for the morning parade.  Music and precision marching are key elements of school instruction in Mexico so we watched school after school after school march by in their uniforms playing music that primarily consisted of trumpets and drums.  There was also a large contingency of women in ornate dresses and men in amazingly beautiful suits riding horses.  

We ended the day of festivities watching a sporting event where beautifully dressed horse riders had to run with a pencil and try to snag a ring on a ribbon that was dangling from a string hung about 10 feet above the road.  We have stone streets in my town so we watched men put dirt down on the road for the horses to stop without damaging their hooves.  It reminded of the runaway ramps that you often see on steep sections of freeways in the US.  

During Natalie’s visit, I decided I wanted to learn how to cross stitch so she helped get me set up with all the necessary materials and then taught me how to make small creatures and follow a pattern.  Natalie is one of my super gifted friends for decorative sewing and it was kind of awesome to be able to say, “hey, I’m I severe pain – can we go home and cross stitch?” and have my guest enthusiastically say yes.

Natalie brought me gummy worms and taught me how to cross stitch.  

My town is lovely year-round but it was extra great during the Independence Day celebration, so I would highly recommend a visit next year in September.  I will likely be gone, but hey, maybe I’ll go back with you.  :)