Cultural Differences

I had never visited Mexico before I arrived to live here for 2 years, so I wasn't sure exactly what to expect.  I did spend time as a kid in Southern California, where there's a large population of Mexican immigrants, but my exposure to Mexican culture was only the smallest of glimpses.  I lived in downtown LA for a short stint and the day I moved into my apartment, Pink was shooting her music video for Get the Party Started on my street (which taught me nothing about Mexican culture but did signify that I was super hip).  I encountered my first mobile vegetable-selling truck and watched my neighbors lower a huge bundle of balloons from their 4th floor apartment window down to a man on the sidewalk every morning.

My apartment in LA, home to all the action back in the day.  

A slightly different scene here in Mexico: if you look closely, you can see the figure of a woman laying on her back in that mountain.   

   

I haven't seen anyone lowering balloons out of their windows here in Mexico, but balloons are definitely popular.  The first time I saw a big balloon in the shape of a crayon, I thought "how could that be fun to play with?"  Then I watched kids launching it into the sky with huge smiles and thought, well - there you go.  In the hopes of helping you better understand some of your neighbors in the States, I thought I would share a few things I’ve learned about life in Mexico that perhaps you've also encountered (perhaps with some confusion or frustration).  

• How much $ you make/spend: Everyone asks me how much money I make now, how much I made in the US, how much my plane ticket at Christmas cost and what I pay in rent each month.  Coming from a culture where money matters are private matters, it's been uncomfortable having to answer those questions.  I've tried answering with the same question back to people, or being vague with my response, but I often get pressed for a number.  On the bright side, an intern in our office did help me find a much cheaper place to live because I told him how much my rent was and he said "oh no, we can do a lot better than that." And a month later, we did!  

• Rules/Flexibility: I'm not saying there aren't any rules here, because there definitely are, but after living here for 10 months, I can't think of any to share with you.  Peace Corps has plenty of rules (and I know ALL of those) but in general things are pretty laid back here.  My rent is due on a certain day each month, but I've never actually paid it on that day because sometimes my landlord is around, and sometimes he's not.  Sometimes he wants me to pay my rent money to someone else that he owes money to instead.  People come into the office at different times every day, and your local corner store may or may not be open on Sunday, depending on what the owner is up to.  Occasionally you go to your favorite taco stand only to find that it hasn't been wheeled out that day.  That, my friends, is a bonafide crisis.  

Popular balloons. 

• Living in front of your house: there’s a family from Mexico that lives by a friend of mine in CA and they frequently have big parties in their driveway, complete with bouncy houses, music and lots of people.  My friend is always asking “why aren’t they doing that in their back yard?” because that’s where he would do it.  That’s where most of us would probably do it in the US but a lot of life takes place on the street here.  We recently had a parade in town and when I opened my door to check it out, my stoop was already occupied by other people.  First come, first served – even on your own front steps.   

• Late night parties: the family rules here and so does a good party.  While I might think of a party as an intimate affair for close friends and family that goes until 10 pm (yes, I’m a lame partier), the party often doesn’t get started till 10 pm here.  Loud parties at night – usually with fireworks – are just a part of life.  Even on a Tuesday night you might hear mariachi music playing past 2 AM (and noone complains).     

 Party time - con queso - at a local cheese fair. 

  Tasty artesanal cheese. 

  Local cheeses and sweets. 

 I especially enjoyed this cheese. 

Tortillas and quesadilla prep for all that tasty cheese.

• Who you tip: Almost everyone I’ve talked to here has told me that you don’t tip cab drivers.  However, you do tip the following:
• The person that bags your groceries 
• The woman at the laundromat
• The gas station attendant
• The random musicians who walk into restaurants and start playing music (or at times surround your table for a very intimate – and loud – one table show that you cannot avoid)
• The musicians who sing at events (like cheese fairs) 
• Sometimes, but not always, the man who gets your bag out from under the bus

• Clothing: People dress more formal here and at times recommend clothing to me that is a little tighter and/or more revealing than I'm used to.  I tried on a shirt that had lacework at the top and you could see my bra straps.  I mean really see them.  I really liked the shirt but it was orange and I couldn’t imagine finding a tank top the right color here to wear underneath to hide the straps.  "Not a problem," said all the women in the store, "you should show your bra straps to help you find a boyfriend!" Um.... 

This is as tight as my clothing gets. 

• Amor in public: I was walking through a main plaza in Querétaro and saw a couple making out on a park bench.  I mean full on making out.  While I fully encourage that level of spark, I will admit that when I’ve seen that type of public affection in the US, I’ve passed some judgement.  I started talking about it with my friend Kyle and it occurred to us that because many Mexicans live with their families until they are married, and there’s no way you’re bringing your boy/girlfriend into your bedroom at home, the public park is one of the most private places you can be together (at least in a big city). 

• Driving with hazards: Peace Corps volunteers are not allowed to drive, and I'm a-ok with that as the roads here can be a little like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  People use their hazard lights all the time to signal that traffic is slowing, or that they’re getting ready to do something, they often pass on curves and frequently drive on the shoulders, there are speed bumps everywhere and people cross 4 lanes of highway traffic on foot on a regular basis.  As a passenger, I’ve decided my best course of action is to just look away from the road and try to keep my body relaxed in case there ever is an accident.  Probably best not to read articles like this one.  

  Local sweets for sale. 

 Cookies, cookies, cookies. 

• Wearing masks: The first time I got sick my host mom asked if I wanted to wear a mask and I thought that was the oddest thing I’d ever been asked.  It’s just not something you do for a common cold in the US.  Now that it’s cold season here in Mexico, the masks are out in full force so the streets look like hospital wards, which takes some getting used to.  

• Discussing your weight: People openly comment about your weight.  They'll tell you that you’re fat (while insisting you eat more), that you’re loosing too much weight (while insisting that you eat more), that you need to loose more weight (while insisting that you eat more), etc.  I heard someone call a really tall thin man “fat” in English and I had to explain that really was not the right word and that it wasn’t common (and at times rude) to say such things to someone in my culture.

• Asking for and giving money: There's a level of charity in Mexico that definitely is not familiar to me.  When I am walking with locals and someone on the street asks for money, they always give.  When someone is selling something that is small and not super expensive, they always buy it.  Even if they don’t want it or won’t use it.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen people buy food they don’t need just because someone came to the door selling it. 

 A lovely couple selling cheese. 

 With local vendors selling dulces (and perfectly matching my color scheme). 

I’ve asked a few people here why they always say yes when people ask them for money or to buy something on the street and here’s what I’ve heard: the tradition of giving money to those in need is tied to the religious tradition of asking for and providing money to the church.  My coworker told me that many immigrants from other countries travel through Mexico on their way to the US – often riding on top of trains – with many children and many accidents.  While I must admit that I've heard some discrimination against these immigrants, I’ve also heard about how people will create small bags of food and water to give to those immigrants as they travel through the country.

I'm trying to follow the good examples for charitable giving I've seen here, but I've got a long ways to go.  Let me start by giving you this Avett Brothers video, which has the most beautiful song ever (yes, it's about death, but in a really nice way).  If you encounter any of the items on this list from your international neighbors in the US (or from me), no hard feelings, eh?