I don't wanna be friends with that horse

I recently had a struggle with a horse.  Well, to be more accurate, I was struggling with how to get people to stop pressuring me to ride a horse.  I am not comfortable around horses (or hamsters, bunnies, mice, snakes, lizards, stray cats, most dogs….) What can I say – I’ve got animal issues.  I love having them on earth and think they should all be treated with dignity, kindness and love; I just prefer to view them from afar, and I typically do not want to touch them.  I believe that animals deserve to live in peace, far, far away from my human hands (except my cat - she gets pets whenever she wants them).

Horses, horses, horses, horses...  

Horses - they are literally everywhere.  

Cabalgata heading into town. 

So, my office recently hosted a cabalgata – a procession on horseback through the community.  Everyone was planning to ride and wanted me to awkwardly clamber on top of a horse as well.  The other volunteer in my office is cuckoo for horses and brought a riding helmet back from the US, so I’m definitely the odd man out in this horse-centric culture.  My officemates even found the local horse whisperer who has a system for working with people scared of horses, and horses skittish of people.  After hearing about my fear of horses, he was eager to meet me and fix my “problem.”  I tried to deflect every comment about how I needed to ride a horse with humor and conviction, but people just kept asking me about it.  No matter how many times I said no, it felt like all they heard was “I need to get her on a horse – she’ll thank me later.”    

 Even when hiking in the mountains around town, I run into horses. 

Hiking past a loose horse, as one does. 

This pressure cooker made me think about fear.  Was riding a horse something I really needed to do here?  Would I feel pride mounting that horse, despite crushing the poor animal under my weight?  Would riding this horse somehow change my life for the better?  Or would I get bucked off and have to end my service early?  There’s a precautionary tale about another volunteer who had to end her service after twisting her ankle stepping off a bus, so it’s important to calculate your risks here. 

There are lots of things I’ve done that I was scared of at first and then happy about afterwards, so I know that fear can be a good thing.  I went skydiving, I rode in planes across the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, I moved cross country away from all of my family for college, I went camping alone, I fell in love, I got a tattoo… I mean come on, I left everything comfortable and familiar to become a volunteer in a country I had never before visited, with a language that I didn’t speak.  Can't I just ride out my time here without literally riding a horse?  

 Sure this horse looks nice and calm while tied up, but you never know... 

  I will admit that I love the dancing horses (and I hope that the horses like the dancing too). 

   So. Many. Horses. 

There's no shortage of horse pictures, that's for sure. 

It's an interesting phenomenon when people love something so much that they really, really, really want you to try it and love it too.  Just this week I got a new student in my english class who is a master horse rider and enthusiast, and he immediately got excited about getting me near a horse and sharing his love of this majestic creature.  You know what I really love?  Hiking.  I would go hiking every weekend if I could - it's the thing I've been missing most about my life in the US lately.  If I invited you to go hiking with me and you said you were too scared, I would not understand it and I would think that you were missing out.  But if you said "thanks but NO", I'm pretty sure I'd let you live your life in peace and accept your decision even if I didn't agree with it.

I know it’s good to push yourself and to overcome your fears, but here’s the thing: I’ve tried riding horses before.  Twice.  And: I. Did. Not. Like. It.  It was a terrifying experience for me that I would really prefer not to repeat.  I know my own limits and in no way do I feel like there’s some part of my soul that will be unknown or unfulfilled because I did not ride more horses.  If the universe is holding out on giving me something great, like true love, until I ride another horse, well – then the universe is just mean (and could we negotiate for true love on a free trip to Scotland instead? And maybe with an actor from the series "Lovesick"?).   

During the cabalgata I saw one donkey that was super rambunctious with it's rider, and I saw a horse buck it's rider off, who narrowly avoided being pommeled by it's hooves.  Last week I saw a rogue horse with a saddle running wild down the street, followed by another man galloping after it on his horse.  When they finally caught the horse, it bucked and kicked and almost took out another person, so it's not like there's no danger with these animals.  I work on overcoming fears here every day: every time I pass one of the many stray dogs roaming the street, or eat food that may or may not have been disinfected, or see another mosquito bite in the age of Zika, or - scariest of all - have to make a phone call in Spanish.  But I'm gonna sit this one out.  I don't wanna ride a horse and you can't make me ;)