The Struggle is Real

So you think you want to be a Peace Corps volunteer.... well you totally should do it (cause it's super awesome) but make sure you do your research ahead of time so you know what you're getting into.  Before I left for Mexico, I scoured volunteer blogs, looking for some glimpse of my future life.  I’ve met some of the Mexico volunteers whose blogs I read stateside, which was pretty cool.  Perhaps one of my posts will help prepare some future volunteer and I'll get to meet them one day too!  Mexico is a beautiful country and the slower pace of life has been a welcome reprieve for me.  That said, there are some struggles that you should be aware of should you desire a life as a volunteer.

Being a volunteer is loads of fun with friends like these! 

Dealing with Free Time:  This is not the case for every volunteer – and it's starting to change for me – but I have a lot of free time.  You wouldn’t think that a lot of free time could be a struggle, but I’m continually reminding myself to reframe what could be seen as boredom as a great opportunity to relax and learn new things.  I try to make good use of my free time: I read books, I watch movies, I color in my coloring book, I go on walks in circles around town, I talk to people, I embroider tortilla towels, I write, I make music playlists, I cook, I clean, I send long emails that people in the US really don't have time to respond to, I sit in the central square and stare at things, I calculate the cost to visit from the US and then send that information to people back home, I chat with people I know on the street, and I make really important Pinterest boards about things that have no bearing on my current life, like “cool household pottery.”  

I live in a small town with no car and no amenities like shopping centers, movie theaters, or long distance hiking trails, so I walk through the same stores on a regular basis “window shopping” which does not appear to be a common activity in my town as the sales people are always attached to my hip asking what they can help me find.  I always explain that although I don’t want to buy their dining set, I am excited to see if they have anything new.  On a recent visit to our local housing goods store, I saw that a room that used to be filled with bed pillows was now filled with baby play pens. So, as you can see, these store tours can yield exciting results.

Coloring projects are a great way to utilize free time (and be hip like your friends in the US).  

When you have time to wander on a regular basis you find things like Target brand hook rails for sale in your local grocery store. 

I’m sure my friends with kids are thinking “really Autumn? You’re complaining about too much free time?!”  I know it's a privilege to say such a thing, but, none the less, my struggle is real.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE having free time.  It’s just that free time without a lot of money, access to long hiking trails or any destinations that can be accessed without a minimum 3-hour bus trip – each-way – is a type of free time that I’m still adjusting to.  Sometimes I do meaningful things with that time – like study Spanish or visit my host family – and other times I find myself watching all the Twilight movies again.  I mean just because I have them.  Not because I like want to.  That would just be silly…..

Finding a Project: For me, the hardest part of being a volunteer is trying to figure out what to do at “work.”  Peace Corps has a diagram that shows the following: host country priorities, Peace Corps priorities and your skill set.  The idea is to identify a project at your site that incorporates all three and falls into the mythical sweet spot.  You do receive a job description when you arrive but that's a really rough concept of needs identified a long time ago, which may or may not have any bearing on your life now.  

I work in a great office with great people on a super interesting project, but navigating the role of a “volunteer” is still difficult.  Acting as a volunteer is not anything at all like stepping into a new job back in the states (and you should know that if you are a potential mid-career volunteer like me).  My organization is developing a new sustainable land management tool that is being tried for the first time in Mexico.  Unlike other sites, they have not had a litany of volunteers in the past and they did not have a pre-developed role or specific job for me to step into.  The project area is quite large, with several cities involved, so there’s no small, core community for me to work with.  This past month things have really started to come together, and although I may never lead a big community project, I'm starting to support a lot of initiatives and have some clearly defined duties and objectives, and that qualifies as awesome.     

My super awesome office crew. 

Learning New Modes of Communication: It’s amazing to see how much of a new language you can learn via immersion.  That said, I still don’t understand everything I hear and I can’t say everything I want to.  I'm not going to lie to you – it's frustrating.  After years of striving for a paperless office, I’ve learned it’s best to print out materials for others to review, and to follow-up on items in person every couple of days.  It’s also best to schedule a group meeting in place of asking people to review and respond to things electronically.  My office loves What’s App, which is our primary mode of communication, and I’m pretty much the only one who ever emails anything.  This means my introvert style of emailing for the majority of (or really any) communications is a no-go here.

Standing Out: After 8 months at site, I suddenly seem to be very recognizable and the fact that I'm from the US has become a more active conversation starter.  A coworker used a white truck to help me move some furniture into my apartment, and a week later a woman pounded on my door at the crack of dawn asking me to move a truck that was blocking her driveway.  I explained that I didn’t have a truck, but then saw that it was white and realized that not only did the neighbors see what vehicle was used to move me in, they knew exactly where I lived.  People are now frequently stopping me in the street to ask me where I’m from and why I’m here (and frequently, why I moved to a new house, even if I’m meeting them for the first time and haven’t said anything about moving).  I don’t know if it’s because I hit some magical mark for the passing of time to be seen as permanent, or because I’m walking around town more, but I’m getting a lot of sidewalk conversations.

For example, an older woman stopped me as I was passing her on the sidewalk to ask me where I was going, where did I live, and what was I doing here (in a nice, non-interrogatory way).  She asked me about the recent US election and was so happy to hear that I was here to learn about her language and culture and share that information with people in the US. 

 It's hard to believe that I stand out, eh? 

When another friend from the US came to visit, the number of street conversations increased exponentially. 

A few days later, another woman yelled at me from the other side of the street “Hello!  It’s so good to see you. How are you?” I responded and crossed the street thinking, well, maybe I know her.  Nope.  Once I got there she had lots of questions and things to talk about.  Was I from the US? What was I doing here?  How much did I get paid?  Who paid me?  Did I have a boyfriend? FYI - she does have a boyfriend and he’s Mexican, and she wants to go the US but he can’t go and she doesn’t want to leave him.  She said the people in the US were so beautiful and I said that I thought there were plenty of handsome people in Mexico as I’ve had more than my fair share of love at first sight moments.  One day I made the men in my office bust out laughing when I said that we just passed the most beautiful man I had ever seen walking on a dirt road, but I’m telling you, it was true. 

It's really nice to get to know so many people and to have friendly conversations on the street, but it's the first time in my life that I've been the person who stands out in my community, and it's an interesting thing to be the one who's different.  It's an experience that we should all try to have at least once in our lives because it's easy to be blind to things we've never experienced (and seeing how people approach you as someone who's different really makes you think about how you want to approach others when the situation is reversed).    

City views in my region. 

County views in my region. 

In the US, I lived in the same neighborhood and took the same bus with the same people everyday, yet we never spoke to each other.  I can tell you all about their accessories and if they were prone to be early or late, but nothing about their personal lives or their names.  These days I can tell you all kinds of personal things about not only my neighbors but pretty much everyone I encounter.  And they can probably tell you quite a few things about me from their powers of observation and direct questions on the street.  As much as I like to think I blend in, there is no anonymity here.  When I meet someone new they almost always tell me “Oh yeah, I’ve seen you around town” so I’m just waiting for someone to ask me why I’ve never purchased toilet paper at the local grocery store.  But then again, maybe they already know that I bought a year’s supply at Costco.