Don't you want to come to the party?

People in my community recently held three birthday celebrations for the other volunteer in my office.  I went to the first party, but was at a meeting out of town for #2.  I received the invitation for party #3 from the Belgian intern in our office the morning of the party but had awoken the night before with a sore throat that only got worse as the day wore on.

I told one of the party organizers ASAP that I wouldn’t be able to make it because I wasn’t feeling well and a) wanted to rest to hopefully keep from getting a full blown cold, and b) I didn’t want to spread my germs around to all the party goers.  I verbally told two of my coworkers that I wasn't going and why, and then responded to a text message from a third coworker to say that I wasn’t going to make it.  And then my boss showed up at my apartment door asking if I was upset and didn’t I want to go to the party?  I explained that I was under the weather and sweating profusely despite having just taken a shower, so I was thinking it was better that I stay home, but I started to worry that I was making some kind of huge social faux pas.  Then I started to worry that there was something really strong in the throat lozenges I'd been sucking all day because really, why were people so concerned about me not attending this party?  

These are like wasps nests and they're everywhere. What's all the buzzzzzz about this party people? 

I remember during training that staff told us to go to everything we were invited to because it was important for integration.  Then we talked to some volunteers who were ending their 2-year service and they said “look, go to like 75% of the things you’re invited to but take time for yourself whenever you need it; you’re going to be exhausted.”  I am exhausted as my weeks have started to rapidly fill up with long meetings, more social interactions in Spanish and long days of travel.  I would have had a great time at the party and I was bummed to miss out on delicious food and drink, but when I’m sick I just want to gargle warm salt water in the comfort of my own home and lay on my couch.

It's the dry season here. Well, for rain, not for parties. 

My cell phone has no way to record or replay a voice mail so when people want to reach you they will literally call you over and over and over again.  After my boss visited, I saw that he had called 3 times while I was in the shower.  The other night someone called me at 9 PM and I did not answer.  It may be grandma-like, but after an 11-hour work day, I was ready for bed and definitely not up for a call in Spanish.  I’m close enough to the millennial generation to say that in this digital age, if you really need to reach me, you can send me a What’s App or text message.  The person called three times in a row about 15 seconds apart each time.  In the US, we screen calls all day long, but here, the idea that you could hear your phone ringing and not want to pick it up (or that you would have it on silent all the time like I do) is not easily understood. 

Lovely vista (without cell phone reception).  

Despite all of the invitations, I stayed home and rested and watched the last available episode of Narcos on Netflix.  If you want to learn some Spanish that is in no way appropriate for the office, I strongly recommend Narcos.  The next morning, one of my coworkers continued to give me a hard time (in a nice way) about not coming to the party, asking "why Autumn, why didn't you come to the party? A cold is nothing. You just need to drink some raicilla with honey and lemon - that's the solution to all your problems."  If you get invited to a party that you're not up for attending, well, I really don't know what to tell you.  Explain to everyone that you'd love to attend, but you just aren't feeling well. And then be prepared to explain that again.  And try not to feel too guilty.