Making Friends

I used to love Valentine’s Day when I was a kid.  I loved filling out and receiving cards in class and those fancy heart-shaped boxes of chocolates.  Valentine’s Day as an adult is a much more commercialized affair that has lost it's luster.  However,  February 14th has a different flair here in Mexico.  For starters, it’s called El Día del Amor y la Amistad – or the day of love and friendship.  Right off the back, it’s inclusive (you just need to have at least one friend). 

 Signage at a local cafe. 

Celebrating el día del amor y la amistad. 

I received my first message of celebration from my host family at the crack of dawn, followed by several What’s App messages from coworkers and English class students.  One of my students invited me to join her and another friend for a snack that afternoon and refused to let me pay for anything since they had invited me.  I think we should totally embrace the addition of friendship to our Valentine's day celebrations in the US!  Note to Hallmark: no, we don't need a new line of merchandise to support that addition.  

It’s been great to find myself with friends outside of my volunteer group and to feel more integrated.  I’ve been working with a woman in another office for months but didn’t really get to know here until we recently spent 5 hours alone together in a car.  She’s a well-educated young woman who has spent time living abroad, and we had an interesting conversation regarding the role and treatment of women in different cultures, and our unique experiences.  I was pretty excited to maintain a successful flow of conversation in Spanish for that long and to have a conversation with depth.  I got together with her family the following weekend and was extra stoked when I was able to make them laugh – on purpose – in Spanish!  The pride one feels at being able to make a joke in another language is enormous. 

  Red and white flags in a neighboring Pueblo Magico. 

   Red and white building. 

Pueblo Magico. 

Workshop crew, taking a coffee break.

I’ve been lucky to meet to some really good people here, including my new friend Elena.  She has been so kind, letting me borrow her Ikea tables and introducing me to new areas and people in our community.  I was walking home the other day when I saw two horses barreling down the street in my direction.  I slowed on the sidewalk and shrunk closer to the buildings as I plotted how to avoid being in the street at the same time as those, um, lovely creatures.  Suddenly I heard Elena call my name from the corner store and was rescued.  Inside the store, she introduced me to Carlos and Javier, who make piñatas and offer services for painting nails and coloring hair.  Elena mentioned that I was looking for a Spanish teacher, and Carlos presented me with a gift of books on learning Spanish.  I feel confident that one day I will need a piñata, and clearly I will have to buy it from this kind gentleman. 

Speaking of kind gentlemen, my friend Marcel recently took me, Cindy and our new intern  from Belgium (Pierre) to brunch at a local hotel.  We piled our plates high with chilaquiles, scrambled eggs, green beans with shredded meat, tamales and fresh papaya and yogurt.  I’m all for 4-hour brunches with amazing food, good conversation and a bottle of wine.  Marcel took us on a tour of the hotel, where we met a group of Mexican visitors who were as excited as me to see the room where the actor Diego Luna once slept (that's just the hook you needed to come visit me, right?).  Everyone in the group spoke English and had some unexpected connection to us: one man was born in Detroit, one woman had been to Belgium several times, another had an ex-boyfriend from Belgium and another had an ex-boyfriend from WA state and had lived in Los Angeles for several years.  

International brunch crew. 

 Lovely sitting area. 

 Hotel courtyard. 

Art on display.  

A lovely blue wall. 

Our table for brunch. 

We talked about the vast differences in “Mexican” food in the US vs. authentic food here, and our mutual love of tacos.  We also talked about why I was here, the three Peace Corps goals, and how I learned Spanish from immersion this past year.  When it was time to leave, one of the women stayed behind to tell me that she thought she knew English when she moved to LA after years of bi-lingual schooling.  However, she said she didn’t have the confidence to speak for a year in the US and didn’t really learn the language until she too was immersed.  She told me that I was doing a great job and she thanked me for sharing my experiences and a positive view of her country with people back in the US.  I feel like I receive 99% of the benefits from this experience, so her comments were really touching. 

The following week I headed to a community workshop where we received invitations to lunch from four different community members.  I was in a state of panic trying to decide who I was supposed to go eat with, as I didn't want to offend anyone.  I randomly went left with a coworker and ended up in the best house ever.  The family served us a delicious dish of rice, vegetables, tender meat and nopales, and fresh agua de naranja.  They had lots of questions about current events in the US and they laughed really hard when I said I thought it was odd that people put ketchup on pizza here.  They also thought it was funny that I got a little nervous when three giant chickens grazed my legs while eating their tortillas in a dish by my feet.  

Chicken on a wall. 

There’s a weird balance to life here in Mexico for me.  Every day with a rough moment has been balanced by a moment of kindness, love or beauty.  That formula has been at work, without fail, every single time I’ve encountered a rough patch during the past year.  The other day I had a rocky start to the morning and while walking home thought “ok, there are still a few more hours left in this day, so I have full faith that my balance is coming.”  Sure enough it did.  My neighbor Elena stopped by to chat that evening and when she left I was smiling and back in my groove.  Maybe I’m more open to looking for those positive moments  (or just more in need of finding them), or maybe life is just more magical here in Mexico.  Either way, I greatly appreciate every little moment of joy and balance that I encounter.  If you can’t remember the last time that happened, start looking for it.  You’ll find it ;)